I started to write this paragraph about 100 different ways, and about 100 different times, but the way that feels the best is by just saying that I deeply miss Megan. Words really can’t describe the feeling. I miss her smile, her smell, her soft youthful skin, her freckles, her stunning eyes, her beautiful hair. I miss her kind heart, her spirit, her spunk, her laugh. I miss the relationship that we had shared. I miss my daughter and my friend.
I have learned over the past year that there is absolutely nothing that will fill the hole in my heart, because she is not here to see, touch, smell or hear. I can still talk to her, and laugh with her, and tell her about what is going on here with Matt and Madison, but it is not the same. I feel close to her when I feel the breeze, or see God’s beauty here on Earth, because I know that she is a part of it.
We have met some wonderful people over the past year that has helped give us tools to cope with such a loss. We have such incredible support from friends and family, new and old. Megan touched so many lives and our community has come together to mourn for her and support each other.
Megan died one year ago today, at the age of 14, from a condition known as Myocarditis, which weakens the heart resulting in a Sudden Cardiac Arrest. The most common cause of Myocarditis is viral. She did not have any symptoms. She just died during a cross country race for Dana Hills High. Luckily, I was there with her, she passed away in a beautiful place, doing what she loved; just being part of a team. Megan played AYSO soccer since she was 5, became part of an incredible soccer team named Pride, then branched out and started cross country in her freshman year.
When I look at Megan’s life, I can seriously say that I have no regrets and I know that she wouldn’t either. I picture myself holding a gold box in my hands, which holds her time here on earth, and it is a beautiful box, it is just too small. Unfortunately, I don’t have more memories with her to fill it. But I am so grateful for the time we had with her, and given a choice would have taken the 14 years we had, over not having her at all.
If you are reading this, then I would imagine that you have been touched in some way by Megan’s life and Megan’s death. I hope that you have looked at your own life and determined what is important to you for your own happiness and fulfillment. Our time here is so short and unpredictable. I have become so much more appreciative of the good things in life, not material things by any means, but the beauty of the Earth, my beautiful family, the friendships that we have, our good health, and just the day to day experiences that we call “life”.
Blessings to you all-