A candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long--

Monday, March 30, 2009

Forever 14!!!

Happy Birthday to you, Megan! Today, Megs would have been 16 years old. Today, Megan would have gone to the DMV and passed the test with flying colors and she would have had her drivers license. It is hard to celebrate something that never happened. All we can do is celebrate the life that she did have, remember her, and imagine what would have been.

A couple of years ago when Matt got his drivers permit, Matt and Meg had a discussion about how they would both have to share the car when Megan followed Matt and turned 16. They got into specifics about who would take it on what days, and once when the discussion got heated, I told them to cool it because it was a long way off and things change, you never know what might happen. Of course, at the time, I was thinking more in terms of maybe getting a second car, not the fact that Meg's wouldn't be here. Matt reminded me of that conversation after Megan died, and it is just so true that we never know what will happen next. We hope that we do, we hope that we have some control, and that the hopes and dreams that we have for our life, and our kids lives, will become a reality. And luckily most of the time they do. But for those times when life takes a sharp left turn, you really can't help but ask "what happened", knowing that one of the hardest parts is that there is no answer.

Here is a link to some "new" photos provided by Denene Carmen. She found these on her camera!! What a great gift to have them. Enjoy!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

18 Months today.

Ugh. How did so much time go on? How does the Megster not know about everything that has gone on over the past 18 months. She is not here to enjoy the new boat slip, or a smoothie at Jamba Juice. She isn't here to see her brother get his license, or her sisters new cool scooter. She is not here to meet all the new friends that her brother and sister have, or to hear how her own friends are doing. She isn't here to experience Megan's Grove, or to participate in the NCAA pool, which she won two years ago!! She isn't here to tell me where she put the IPod!! So much has gone on in the last 18 months. Time is now measured as of 9/26/2007, or before that. I just wish that she was here to enjoy everything that has gone on in the past 18 months. I know that she would have had a great time. (I do believe that she is here in spirit, but it is not the same!)